I’ll probably rattle on for a bit, post it then delete this after a couple of days so bear with me.
After watching Jack’s video just now (about Robin William and TimH leaving), it brought about a whole whirlwind of emotions. We so often assume that our friends around us are always there, that when it’s time to part ways, it comes to us as a rude, unpleasant shock.
I don’t really talk to my primary school friends much, but maybe that was because we were too young for sentiments and that sort.
In sec one, orientation was fun and everyone had a wail of time and everyone was friends with everyone.
But things don’t remain that way (obviously) and cliques started forming. I felt like I didn’t belong in Loyalty. To me, loyalty was competitive in a mean way, loyalty was cold and never really helped each other, loyalty was like the caste system in India, loyalty never allowed me to be who I was. Maybe it was because music students are different? I felt like for a good two years of my life I only had two close friends (who I still spend time with now) but the rest of the class was just blehurgh and I didn’t fit in at all. I still feel that way every Monday afternoon, but I just shrug it off now because I don’t need to bother much about them now that I have justice.
Towards the end of sec two, I was accused of stealing worksheets (by two loyalty classmates who were from the popular clique) and I knew why. I didn’t steal worksheets of course (I’m not that kind of person, not that they would know) but I think they turned to me because their previous suspects lacked evidence. To them, I was a weak and vulnerable student who does nice things for the class like bring food and whatnot because I want to suck up to teachers. Bullshit. I spent the next few afternoons crying on the specs stand while Mrs gurung talked to me and helped me through. I was a mess.
To top things off, I was kicked out of council, along with J** and P******, and it was the biggest slap to my face. I felt like I didn’t deserve it; I felt that I did so much better than them and nobody really told me what went wrong. They just told me, you should know why you aren’t in council anymore. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW, SO I LEFT COUNCIL WITH A HEAVY HEART AND A MISSING HOLE IN MY HEART.
Sec three rolled along and I chose triple humanities, partly because a lot of loyalty was choosing the same double double combi and I HAD to leave them, and partly because I liked both lit and geog a lot. When the allocation came out, I was scared. Only me Teresa and cherry were going to justice. As much as I detested loyalty, they were the only thing I could cling onto and I was not ready to enter an entirely new class, given what a rough two years a had previously.
I still remember spending the first week or so eating recess with teresa because I didn’t really know anyone and everyone in justice seem to have their friends and stuff.
Another one and three quarter years has past, and I must say, I have absolutely no regrets choosing this subject combi and I have really enjoyed being with justice. Sure, I may not like everyone in class 100%, but even the one I dislike most is tolerable. Throughout these two years, I have made many new friends, found my closest friend (it feels like we’ve known each other for really long), and I can safely say that, when I’m in justice, I can freely express my thoughts and be who I am and who I want to be, without being judged and my classmates accept me for who I am. I really wish I didn’t waste my first two years feeling moppy and all. I feel like my pent up weirdness has exploded over my friends within the last two years because I dont remember being so weird and most importantly, I’ve never felt so happy and positive around classmates.
This year is coming to and end really quickly and honestly this two years has flew by really quickly and it makes me really upset when it dawns upon me that we are leaving each other soon :,(
With that, here are some people I want to thank, just because. (Short little notes only)
JENYEE even though we get on each other’s nerves and stuff thank you for never judging me right from the start and always doing stupid fun things with me, our friendship isn’t a lovely dovey sentimental one, it is one with playful banter and light hearted insults, so I hardly say this but, you little poop I’ll miss you so much, CHERYL you little twig although I only got to know you better this year, you mean a lot to me and you don’t show it but you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met and you always giggle so much why, JIAHUI even though we spent quite little time together compared to other people, you are actually really funny though you like to kick people, ANDREA for always giving me the sian face when I smile at you, for spazzing about YouTube, candles and cooking during lit, it has made lit so much more fun, AUDREY for being such a hilariously messy table partner and for always listening and laughing to my jokes nobody else seem to find funny, JEMIE for being part of Deskies, and for letting me understand not to judge a book by its cover, JENNIFER for always smiling so sweetly at me when you turn behind, TERESA for being classmates for four years and being there when all else fails, WENDY for being my vietnam maid, and for accepting me for who I am, JINGQI for being a big part of Deskies and always telling me what sort of people I should kick out of my life and for being there for me all the time, NICOE for being the cool directioner chem rap that makes bets on my jokes, OLIVIA for being the only one who listens to my jokes in my row, CHEUK for giving me medicine when I sneeze my nose off and for filling my life with gay happiness, AUDI for being the tbbt updater and for being disgusting with me hoho let’s go comic book store after os, ANGIE for being part of Deskies, for helping me with my math and making me more confident about myself and for being there for me, RACHEL for always coming to my seat and telling me I’m cute and interesting (flattered, thanks), CLARICE for being my index number partner and always clearing my doubts, WENQIAN for being a good listener and a foul mouthed chairman.
ROSLYN for always being there to pat me and hold onto me when I cried, CHU for always agreeing to new adventures (omg taiwan) and for accepting my egoness.
This is a blimey long text but I feel so much better after writing this. This was necessary.